Gratitude, My Gift Back

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude”

That is a quote from award winning author Cynthia Ozick. But it is a fact that hit home with stunning and immediate realization for me personally this week.

There is no doubt  I have deep gratitude for the happiness in my life, the family who every day continues to make it even happier, and the world I live in surrounded by natural beauty, great friends, a happy life and so much more. I do say thanks and am grateful for that every day.

But this week I learned that it perhaps is more that coincidence that my birthday falls so close, or actually on, Thanksgiving every year. It is because I am so grateful for so many things. Sometimes I feel the day was made simply to remind me of all I have.

But this year a couple of new things were added.

The amount of birthday greetings, happy messages, and best wishes that literally hundreds  of my friends shared in e-mails, in person, by phone, on  Facebook, in private texts and just about every other public media was not only stunning and a bit overwhelming …  but also shocking.

So many times I get hateful, abusive messages on Facebook from those who don’t like my style of writing, my opinions, or my truths. I get hate mail from people who have plenty of negativity to spout but not enough courage to put their signatures to it. There are insults and cuss words, an occasional threat, caustic and vitriolic criticisms, all opinions from people who, as hateful as I seem to be to  them, they continue to read. None of it deters me from believing everyone has the right to not only have an opinion, but to express it as well.

But on this birthday, things were different.

I received greetings from people I have not seen or talked to in years. There were many more from friends I knew as kids who still call me Mrs. Smith. There were greetings from elected officials,  both from mayors and other officials  no longer in office as well as county and state officials still serving … as if they have the time to send a greeting to someone who has even criticized them in print or on my blog in the past,  though I always respect them.

There was the greeting from the son I barely knew, but his late mom was not only a joy to know but an inspiration with her strength, bravery and vitality. There was that wonderful remembrance from a man to whom I wrote 20 years ago when he was a prisoner….but is now an upstanding citizen, a guy who went wrong as a kid but paid his debt and had the fortitude to rise above it.

There were wonderful messages from folks I worked with and  also from more some pretty terrific sailors who were stationed at NWS Earle when I volunteered and worked there two decades ago; there was the loving note from a high school friend who I knew and loved before I even knew about  Atlantic Highlands where she was from.  There were so many greetings from people I met and loved while living in Freehold, not only those at the Hall of Records or city hall, but also in the library, as neighbors, folks I met in church or at the American Hotel.

There were many messages from people I know at church and from other churches, heartwarming wishes for a holy celebration, and prayers for a continued good, happy and health life.

There were the wonderful notes from the couple who made such a difference when they lived in the Bayshore, he as the superintendent at Gateway at Sandy Hook, she as a teacher in one of the Bayshore’s friendliest and most innovative schools. Hers were those awesome words, so unmerited, that described me as  “a seeker, a learner, a wanderer — a beautiful Sagittarius soul.”

There were the reporters, the writers, the friends I made through years of being at The Courier or writing for the Record, the Register, the Press.

Of course there were also the heartfelt messages from relatives that distance prevents me from seeing often, but who do keep in touch through my blog or Facebook…one of its few attributes.  There were messages from folks I know pretty much through New Jersey, as well as Wisconsin, North Carolina, Arkansas, Pennsylvania, New York, Florida, California, Utah and Montana; there were relatives of my children who also thought enough to send me happy birthday greetings.

I took advantage of a few days celebrating on my own in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania  an Amtrak trip away to several more stories.  But even there, I was once again surprised with a very special greeting.

Walking near the hotel in the center of town, I met an elderly couple walking in the opposite direction; she stopped to say hello and tell me how she enjoyed walking. We got to spend a bit of time chatting about the weather, health, and age, and I mentioned that that day was my birthday.

Right smack in the middle of Market Street in the heart of the state’s Capital, this lady began singing “Happy Birthday to You.” And, noticing she was winging it alone, she nudged her husband’s arm and said, “sing with me.”

And for two glorious moments, I was serenaded by a thoughtful and very happy couple in the middle of the main street in the city,  a couple who just wanted to make someone else feel as happy as they were. It worked!

The greetings, the song, the memories, the friendships, the family, the thoughtfulness of so many,  gave me one more gift. I am more aware now, and with the help of God, I will never  “ take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude”

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