Home Blog Page 110

Marion Dunlevy – The Common Scold

0
Marion Dunlevy
Marion Dunlevy, from  a “Fine Irish family from Donegal”

Marion Dunlevy died Monday, December 11 as she lived….with family she loved, spunk that could not be extinguished, a smile on her face, and a bit of Irish stubbornness and laughter in her heart. In the end, she lost the battle of several months illness but would probably say she made the decision to forget it and move on.

The Common Scold didn’t lose battles. She fought for everything she felt was right. As a result, some half century ago she faced the possibility of repeating history of the 19th century by being found guilty of being a common scold.

Eventually, although three municipal courts would not hear it, Marion Dunlevy was found guilty of the outdated charge still on the books in Middletown. Yet somehow the powers that meant managed to change the ancient misdemeanor charge to require a penalty of up to three years in prison and a $1,000 fine. She beat that one, too. A common scold was a woman who constantly caused dissension….and no one could prove Marion Dunlevy was guilty of that. The Common Scold charge has since been removed from the Middletown law books.

The Common Scold made headlines from the time she first had disputes with her neighbors on Monroe Street in Middletown, then was in the process of divorcing her husband.  It started in 1970 and by December of 1971 Marion was indicted on the Common Scold charge. At the time, she said she was thrilled…they would then have to follow through, this reader of history told the court. First, they had to decide if she were attractive or ugly. Her appearance made a difference in the punishment, she pointed out. An ugly woman, said one with warts on her face, would be subjected to a public dunking to cleanse her; an attractive woman, with her appearance in front of a public building or park, with a gag around her mouth and in a pillory.

There was no doubt Dunlevy was attractive; she was lithe, well dressed, had brunette hair and a perpetual smile on perfect teeth with dark eyes flashing. She suggested being displayed on Kings Highway, in front of town hall, for her public appearance. But she added if they found her ugly and needing to be dunked, she preferred her own swimming pool to the dirty Shrewsbury or Navesink rivers.

It was great fun, made great headlines and sold lots of newspapers for several years. The fearless woman who bragged about her family’s ancient roots and being from  a “Fine Irish family from Donegal” spoke about many of the police officers who over the years were involved in her feuds, seldom praising any. Though both officers Bill Fowlie and Frank Cannon gained praise from her in 1972…that was when some unknown person torched her new Buick Skylark in front of her house and the two officers were first on the scene, extinguishing the blaze with apparatus in their vehicle. Unfortunately, too much damage had been caused to the interior, and though the arsonist was never identified, Dunlevy had to get a new vehicle.

There were numerous other incidents over the years damaging her property. There were also signs some police were also playing the get-even game….she  got tickets for playing her car radio too loud or failing to signal a turn while driving. If found guilty, and sometimes she was, the fine was usually suspended. She always said that when she died, she wanted her ashes spread over the police department at Town Hall.

Alice Maxwell, editor of a small advertising paper that circulated in the Bayshore, wrote a book about a real common scold of the 19th century, this Courier newspaper reporter won a state wide award for her coverage of the Common Scold story, and Dunlevy made headlines every time she popped up at a township committee meeting, complained about a neighbor or was in Freehold with her attorney arguing her case.

In later years, while she still maintained her home on Monroe St. she grew friendly with her neighbors, enjoyed a private life, bragged about her son and special confidant Joseph Palandrano and kept up friendships with people she met during her Common Scold days. She never lost that sparkling smile or lively eyes.

A sculptor came to Marion’s house in 2022 and she agreed to allow the artist to sculpt her jaw, something he requested for his research the Common Scold, described as the gender-based misdemeanor charge used to punish outspoken women. He received numerous awards and grants for his work including fellowships and grants. Today, J.J. McCracken’s “The Mouth of the Scold: is in the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, DC, where it was part of its IDENTIFY: Performance Art as Portraiture series curated by Dorothy Moss. McCracker is co-Director of Red Dirt Studio in Maryland. And is represented by Connersmith in Washington, DC.

Marion Dunlevy, the Common Scold, was with her son  Joseph and other family members at her bedside when she died. Joseph had been with his mother for several months, helping her relive her spirited earlier days before she became a nonagenarian and began to take life easier.  She told him she wanted to change her mind about where her ashes would be placed, and Joseph agreed to follow her wishes.

Marion Dunlevy has been cremated and a service is planned for the future when her ashes, and those of her late divorced husband, Joseph’s father, will be buried together in Mount Olivet Cemetery, Middletown.

 

Santa is Employee of the Month

0
Santa

It was a festive last regular meeting of the Atlantic Highlands Mayor and Council December 14 and Council President Lori Hohenleitner presented Santa Gordon with the Volunteer of the Month award as the jolly gent read to youngsters in the Library, then came in to enjoy the crowd at the Council meeting.

Santa is a native of the borough and has been volunteering and delighting his residents with his kindness and generosity for more than two decades. Councilman Brian Dougherty won the Ugliest Shirt contest and treated the rest of the officials out for a celebration of the good-natured contest.

A special Council meeting will be held tonight, December 28 for transfer of funds and payment of bills. The meeting is set for 2 p.m.

The King is Leaving the Building

1
King

When Jimmie King, administrator of Care One at Middletown, walks out the door of the Route 36 nursing facility today, it will be on a red carpet, with staff and residents cheering him on in his new adventures. But there will be tears in their eyes and memories too precious to share about a boss who makes nursing home residents his first priority.

King, a native of Middletown, who has been in care giving in long-term care facilities for 33 years, literally worked his way to the top through his own high standards, love of his patients, and a genuine promise to himself he would always continue to strive to do better every day.

A product of the Middletown school system from Leonardo grade school, Bayshore Junior High and Middletown South High School, King continued his education under his own series of self-designed five-year plans. He pursued his first position in nursing as a certified nursing system, then quickly became a licensed practical nurse, both from the educational and practical programs at Monmouth County Vocational School in Long Branch. He then went on to Brookdale College to earn his RN.

Being a registered nurse was one goal achieved, so Jimmie set about another five-year plan and earned his undergraduate, then his master’s degrees in nursing at Kean College. Another goal, another plan and Jimmie next attended Longtree and Associates LNHA pre course. After completing an untold number of hours of training with Douglas Kreil LNHA, Jimmie became a licensed nursing home administrator.

To him tell it, it all started with the late Helen Marchetti, a former Mayor in Atlantic Highlands, and the administrator at the now closed Atlantic Highlands Nursing Home where Jimmie got his first job and was guided by the woman he still calls one of the most influential people in his life.

Jimmie’s grandmother lived across the street from the Middletown nursing home just off First Avenue in Atlantic Highlands. Jimmie had worked at Riverview Hospital, liked being in a position where he could help people, and decided to apply for a position across the street from his grandma’s home. As part of the interview for the job, he met with the administrator, Mrs. Marchetti. He recalls how he was hired on the spot, but more endearingly recalls how Helen, dressed impeccably with well coifed hair and a caring demeanor, had him sit on a bench between the house where her office was located and the facility where the patients were, and talked to him about his future.

“She exuded confidence and leadership,” he said this week, recalling those days when he was 20 years old. “She asked me about my plans for the future and while I had not really thought about that before, by the time we finished the conversation, my plan was to go and apply for the LPN program and a study-intensive five-year plan.”

In the small world in which we live, Helen decades later became a long-term care resident at Care One after Jimmie became administrator and died there last year. “It was one of my greatest moments in health care to attend Helen Marchetti’s final Birthday party at the facility where I am the administrator. I am also so grateful was able to say final goodbyes to her and allow her to transition peacefully to the next life in my presence.”

Jimmie has many memories of the joy of meeting and caring for residents, seeing them on their way back to health, or administering to them and overseeing their care as they pass on, the joys of knowing them mingled with the sadness of letting them go. “What I hold closest to my heart at Care One King James are my residents and staff. They are the reason I strive for excellence on a daily basis. They deserve the utmost respect. I learn life lessons daily from them all,” this humble but dedicated administrator said.

Helen was not the only former care administrator or owner under Jimmie’s care. The late James Snyder, who built the facility more than half a century ago, as well as his wife, Judy, were both long-term care residents at Care One. Their son, Glenn, was the owner of the facility and Jimmie was a licensed practical nurse at the time. The care each received was no different than what every resident at the care center receives on a daily basis. That’s because to Jimmie, “Ensuring my residents and staff have the best experience on a daily basis is my goal. Not many people can say they make over 100 people smile daily simply by doing my job.”

There are huge disappointments along the way, mingled with the joy of helping people get better or assisting them in their final hours of life. One of the most frustrating throughout all his years in the field has been the Covid 19 virus. “That is one of the most difficult things any healthcare worker deals in these present times,” the administrator said., “It has affected the long-term care industry greatly and has caused great change. When family members couldn’t visit their loved ones, it was heart breaking.” But King and his staff worked ceaselessly to keep the facility as Covid free as possible, ensuring safety of residents when new residents, or residents returning from hospital stays came in, through scrupulous testing and separation until he was certain there were no contaminants.

Though stern and strict in all areas of health care, it’s Jimmie’s ‘soft side’ and obvious love for each patient that the King James family will miss the most. A frequent visitor to every resident’s room, a popular attendee at all their parties and activities, a beaming smile in every hallway, and a caring listener to any complaint or woe, Jimmie King has inspired many and receives the accolades of staff and resident alike.

“ He’s amazing! That’s all I can say,” according to Cheryl Flesch of Highlands. A dietary aide in the spotlessly clean kitchen for seven years, Cheryl said King “is always there for everybody, both employee and resident. He goes above and beyond; you can’t say enough great about him.”

Brian Kroeper of Brick a unit secretary for the past six years, describes King as “easy to approach, fair, always ready to jump in and help wherever needed, a good guy to work for…”

Nicole Mezzina of Hazlet has only been at Care One as its receptionist since last year. But that’s long enough to see “how sweet how compassionate he is,” she said. “He always put everyone first, he is not just the administrator.” And Nicole searches a second for the right word, then smiles and says,” he is the heart of the community.”

Nurses, aides, maintenance workers, volunteers, residents…. they all say the same thing. Residents like Ady, who lived at Care One for more than a decade before moving last month to be closer to her daughter, does not speak. But her affection for Jimmie was always exhibited in her sparkling eyes, her warm handshake, her laughter as she sang a song to him only he could understand. She speaks for all the residents in her affection for an administrator who was as visible in the hallways and dining room as he was in his open door office.

On Thursday, December 28, when Jimmie King walks out of Care One at Middletown for the last time as its administrator who has made a difference, he will truly get the red-carpet experience.

That is one of the many programs and traditions he has established at Care One. But he doesn’t take any credit for that either, instead praising Emily Vasquesz his senior vice president overseeing Care One Newton in Massachusetts. It was there he saw the Red-Carpet Clap Out he believes now elevates customer service and the residents’ and staff’s overall experience at Care One Middletown.

“I first witnessed the Red-Carpet Clap when I visited Emily at her facility, and she asked me if I would be part of a discharge tradition they have at the facility. I watched as the staff gathered in the main lobby and rolled out a red carpet. Within minutes a resident came off one of the units and the staff erupted into a cheer and clapping. The resident’s eyes filled with tears of joy, and she thanked each staff member as she passed them with a princess wave. As I am clapping and enjoying the moment, I look at her son; he comes over and shakes my hand with tears in his eyes and thanked me for taking such great care of his mother and making her feel so special. He said it was one of the greatest things that ever happened to his mother. I will never forget that experience and am forever grateful to Emily for allowing me to share that moment and for purchasing my red carpet at Care One Middletown. It has forever changed the staff and residents’ feelings at Care One Middletown.

So what does the future now hold for Jimmie King, who has left his footprint and heart beat at Care One at Middletown? “I want to continue to make a positive impact on the healthcare industry.  If you remain positive and strive for excellence daily the rest will fall into place.:

Then he thinks a second, sits back, laughs and says, ”Jimmie King Vice President or Jimmie King President of a corporation sounds really good.”

 

 

Bad Behavior or a Chilling of Constitutional Rights?

0
Bad Behavior

Judging from the words of Mayor-elect Lori Hohenleitner at the end of the last regular meeting of the current Atlantic Highlands Mayor and Council, it would seem that the first action of the new governing body should be to introduce an ordinance defining what bad behavior is.

As council president, Hohenleitner presided at the council meeting in the absence of Mayor Loretta Gluckstein, who was unable to attend because of personal commitments. Gluckstein did not seek election last November and Hohenleitner was elected to the position over Councilman James Murphy in a hotly contested ballot race. (see related story.)

The December 14 meeting was light, cheery, happy-go-lucky with council members posing for votes on who had the ugliest Christmas shirt and genuine cheerfulness and camaraderie taking over most of the meeting.

Yet before it was all finished, Hohenleitner who started her monthly report for the public citing her daily sweep of the borough, her check with the police department every day and her pride in how beautiful residents have decorated homes for the holidays, changed the tenor of the meeting. She said she hoped all have “renewed commitment to be good neighbors” and that she is excited to welcome everyone to come to meetings and “it is important for you to speak up.”

“We’re gonna work well moving forward” the mayor elect continued before concluding ….and anyone who tries to get in the way of that……..”You’re welcome….. BUT Bad Behavior will not be taken kindly.”

Bad Behavior????

It sounds more like a violation of an American’s rights under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.

Bad Behavior?

Is it Bad Behavior for a resident to ask a question?

Or is it Bad Behavior for a resident to ask too many questions?

Perhaps it is considered Bad Behavior for a resident to oppose something an elected official advocates?

Or how about when a councilman whispers to another while someone in the audience is speaking, is that Bad Behavior?

Or how about when a council member scolds a resident for turning around?  Is that Bad Behavior?

There was a time a few months ago when the meeting was halted for a medical emergency and someone shut off the audio for the ZOOM attendees, but left the video running. Was that Bad Behavior? Seeing something untoward happening but not being kept informed resulted in a private telephone call from a ZOOM attendee, private words exchanged on that private call from hundreds of miles away, and a complaint to the police that called for an investigation of a threat .

Was the caller from hundreds of miles away guilty of Bad Behavior? While someone in the audience or at the council table may have thought so, the investigation that followed found the Police , including the Chief, apparently did not find that phone conversation was Bad Behavior.

It is for reasons like these that if the mayor elect’s mandate is to be enforced, an ordinance has to be in place to define what bad behavior is.

The words of the mayor-elect, all officially recorded and available to be listened to at any time in public records, should be enough to make residents worry about whether they are being threatened, intimated, or being informed their First Amendment rights are in distinct jeopardy.

An ordinance would then have to spell how what is the meaning of bad and what is behavior?

Is making a scowl or bursting out laughing bad behavior? Are scowls or laughter even behavior or are they spontaneous reactions? Is talking too fast bad behavior as some of us believe? Or is it bad behavior to come to the mike at every meeting and ask the same questions that have not been answered, as another resident feels?

Are some of these silly, or laughable possibilities? Are some of these possibilities out in left field?

Perhaps.

But then there were some who tried to limit a resident’s talking at public meetings to a few minutes until the residents pointed out that was  wrong….hmmmm bad behavior?….and got it restored.

There were those who take it lightly that a recount was called in the last election. But it showed that at least one voter’s right to cast a ballot had been denied. One vote, did not make a difference, no big  deal.  But a voter’s right had been taken away until restored with a second look.

There were the tens of thousands of people who were denied their right to freedom of religion because the Governor, or President, or both, ordered churches be shut down during the original Covid crisis. Done for safety sake?   Most likely. But it meant wiping out an American’s right under the Constitution.   Does it all start with a threat that “Bad Behavior will not be taken kindly?”

Who knows? There were those who scoffed when some Bostonians said the taxes weren’t fair….. until they dumped a few barrels of tea in the water.

Was that Bad Behavior on the part of the Yankees? Or was it their absolute right to oppose what they Felt was Bad Behavior  by those in power who were dictating what they said was right and just.

Ho Ho Ho … Atlantic Highlands Elections …

0
Atlantic Highlands Elections
Atlantic Highlands Elections-Questions Remain

Council President Lori Hohenleitner will be sworn in as Mayor at the reorganization meeting January 1. But it will be up to a Monmouth County Superior Court Judge to determine whether she will serve the four-year term to which she was elected in November.

Hohenleitner

The Monmouth County Board of Elections confirmed today that an election contest has been filed and is going to Superior Court to determine the accuracy and validity of several ballots in the election in which a recount had Hohenleitner winning the election by five votes over Councilman James Murphy.

“It’s all about integrity and ensuring the people in a democracy know their vote is important,” said Murphy, in confirming action has been filed questioning a number of signatures on write-in ballots as well as ballots that appear to be from non-residents but were counted.

Murphy

Nor is this the first time this appears to have happened, Murphy said, referring to further questioning of ballots cast in 2021 which appear to be from residents who at the time did not live in the borough.  “It appears to be a similar pattern and there are similar names being questioned in both elections,” he said.

The councilman, who has made it a part of his campaign to note he is a native of the borough and a third-generation resident, raising his children in the same town where he was raised, said that while he would hope to be the victor, this is not the primary reason for taking the contest action.

“This is all about integrity and voting in a democracy,” he said, “people need to be confident their vote is counted, is accurate, and the entire voting process is as it should be in the United States, in a democracy.”

Hohenleitner and Murphy both currently serve on council, and both ran for the position of Mayor. Current Mayor Loretta Gluckstein did not seek re-election. Hohenleitner, who term on council expires this month, ran for the mayoral position with incumbent Jon Crowley, seeking another term, and newcomer Alyson Forbes.

Murphy, who still has one more year to run in his council election two years ago, ran for mayor with Ellen O’Dwyer and Vincent Whitehead seeking the two council seats. Crowley and Forbes appear to have won both seats, though O’Dwyer also only lost by a few votes.

Should Hohenleitner not be successful in retaining the mayoral post, she will no longer be part of the governing body, since her term expires this year. Should Murphy be seated as mayor, the new governing body would then appoint another Republican to fill the one-year unexpired term on council.

Murphy confirmed there appear to be ‘questionable’ signatures on write-in ballots, and at least one case where a write-in ballot for him was not counted.  There seem to be names of voters who lived, but no longer live in the borough but voted by mail, and in other cases, votes cast by people who may have an Atlantic Highlands zip code but do not live in the borough. With questions like these, the election had to be questioned, he said, “purely for voter integrity and democracy.”

Murphy noted the Republicans, with the financial aid of the Monmouth County Republican committee, had filed for a recount last month when the polls showed he lost the election by four votes. The recount conducted in Freehold showed an additional vote for Hohenleitner, giving him a loss by five votes.

The councilman conceded that both the recount and the current action are costing money, and the local GOP is seeking donations at this time, but “it is about integrity, and it has to be done.”

“All I care about is that the election is run right, and every vote is counted how and where it should be,” the councilman continued, “It is important for every voter to feel confident and comfortable that his vote is counted. It is integrity that matters.”

According to the Monmouth County Board of Elections, the election contest goes before a County Superior Court Judge and what happens after that cannot be determined until his decision is made. Since the matter would definitely not be heard and decided before the January 1 planned reorganization, Hohenleitner will be sworn in as mayor. After that, according to a spokesman for the election board, “it depends on what the judge decides. There are a lot of moving parts here.” There are residency issues as well as “all kinds of other things.”

When contacted by VeniVidiScritpto, Councilwoman Hohenleitner said ” I have faith in the system. I just want to what is best for Atlantic Highlands, I feel sorry that the poll workers and the administrators who run the voting process are being questioned; I will just continue to move forward and see what happens, our small town needs to come together”

The Knights Christmas Gift

0
Knights Gift
Knights

Be sure to stop and visit the Christmas manger scenes in front of both Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church on Route 36 in Highlands and St. Agnes Church on Center Avenue Atlantic Highlands.

Michael Burker, past Grand Knight of the Rev. Joseph Donnellly Council of the Knights of Columbus got together some knights and other friends and built, stained and delivered these new stables to depict the scene in Bethlehem still celebrated and appreciated more than 2000 years later.

Present Grand Knight Mike Napolatino expresses the thanks of the Knights in the Council, as well as the parishioners of the OLPH-St Agnes parish for their generosity and expertise.

The Knights Council provided the construction materials for the stables for the creches, and the teamwork of past and present Knights created their own miracle

Want to read more about the Knights?  Click HERE

Need a Last Minute Gift?

0
Gift

If you’re looking for a most unusual gift, be sure to stop in at the Spiritual Beauty Center at 130 Bay Avenue in Highlands between now and Christmas Eve. The shop is only open Tuesdays through Saturdays from about 11a.m. to 5 p.m. but it’s worth a stop. Lisa is terrific, and there are two rooms of gift ideas, from incense and room scents to candles, jewelry and even a Witch’s calendar. There are plenty of gemstones available, each with the story of the qualities it represents, and even some pretty unusual chocolates.

This weekend, during the Magical Market and Open House hosted at the shop, Spiritual Beauty also featured   Monique Arcand, a spiritual advisor and teacher who deals in both spirit knowledge and psychic wisdom, and offers alternative ways of thinking, feeling and living, all of which make you feel pretty good in practice. She will not be there during the week, but you can check out her webpage at www.moniquearcand.com or email her at moniquearcand95@gmail.com to set up an inexpensive reading. She even does them via ZOOM so it’s an idea for an unusual gift for sure.

Back to Lisa, though, the gifts in the shop range in price from a couple of dollars to very expensive, and she’s great at helping you select something special and unusual.  Even if you are not buying, stop in and say hello. Lisa and her crew would love to meet you. There is always a lot of holiday cheer inside the door as well as gift ideas from all over the world.   She even suggests that not only should you stop in at her shop, but also stay and enjoy one of Highlands’ great restaurants.

Understand there is a brand new one there that specializes in Portuguese fare for dinner! The menu looks sensational. And Bahrs Restaurant has great gift cards for giving as well.

Love the Bingo idea in Atlantic Highlands to encourage supporting all the great businesses there, from all the restaurants to Renaissance on First Avenue where the little shops inside have some unique ideas for gift giving. Worth a stop just to see everything that’s offered.  And Bayshore Pharmacy, once again, has a vast variety of gift ideas for every occasion. They wrap them for you, free, as well!

But there are so many ways to have your gift worth twice as much, when you purchase online or in the gift shops from the non-profit groups who can always use some extra funds for keeping up their missions. The Twin Lights Museum has some great ideas for every lighthouse lover, every historian, and everybody who simply loves Highlands.  Great jewelry and books by local authors as well, lots of ideas for youngsters.

The Sandy Hook Foundation has plenty of cap and sweatshirt/tee shirt varieties. Membership in any of the local historical societies is always a welcome gift for individuals or families. Middletown, Highlands, Atlantic Highlands, Shrewsbury and the Twin Lights are all wonderful historic societies that offer so much local history. Membership in any of them is particularly thoughtful for new residents.

And since the soon to be commissioned sub New Jersey will be commissioned right here at the Naval Weapons Station Earle pier in Leonardo, visiting their online gift shop is also a great idea. They list a $17 shipping and handling charge for whatever you purchase online. And if that more than covers the actual mailing costs, the rest of that is considered a donation to the friends group supporting the Navy’s newest addition to its mighty fleet.

At the same time, the Battleship New Jersey is going to be hauled out of the water in a couple of months to get a refreshing and restoration she needs badly, so purchasing from the ship’s museum store is another great idea. Actually, giving gifts, say tree ornaments, from both New Jerseys is a neat idea as well for all those who love both history and the 21st century.

With all the gift giving, none of us should overlook the opportunity to help others as well. There are Giving Trees at both Our Lady of Perpetual Help and St. Agnes churches, as well as several other churches and wonderful agencies and groups in the area. Seek them out, make a donation, and think of how you will help make a stranger’s Christmas a little better because of your own generosity.  Makes you feel good

The Girls Christmas Schedule

0
The Girls

Your last chance before Christmas to toast “The Girls” at the Girls Café and to let the new Girls know how much you appreciate them will be Sunday, Christmas Eve, when they will be spreading their usual cheer, hot coffee and spectacular breakfasts and more until 1 in the afternoon.

Better take advantage of it then, because Charley and the rest of the crew are taking a couple of weeks off to celebrate the holiday.

They will be open once again on Monday, January 10, the second Wednesday of the New Year, 2024.

While everyone misses the original girls, Vera and Cathy, we all also realize it’s time for them to sit back and take life easy for a while….something it’s very difficult for any Hartsgrove to do. What a hard working family they have always been.

But Charley, another main stay at The Girls Cafe, is still working her magic on the grill and everywhere else, and  has gotten the ever patient Kitty and the rest of the gang, including Sam and Gail…or it Gracie?… .happy to be part of a great staff of cheery, hardworking women! And these days, if you’re lucky, you might even see the Boss Lady cleaning off tables and ensuring every customer at The Girls Café is more than a customer, but rather a close friend.

So the Girls Café will close at 1 p.m. Christmas Eve and re-open at 6 a.m. on January 6, Little Christmas, making it possible for the entire staff to enjoy the peace and contentment of their own homes during a special time.

Besides, the Spirit of Christmas is alive and well throughout the year at The Girls Café, one of Highlands’ great eateries!

Volunteer …

0
Former Atlantic Highlands Council Member Brian Boms

Former Councilman Brian Boms was cited and praised at the December meeting of the Atlantic Highlands Mayor and Council not once but twice for his volunteer activity with the Atlantic Highlands First Aid Squad.

Boms, who is also head of the Republican County Committee for the borough, received the Walter B. Curry Award in recognition of his service to the First Aid Squad.  He also received the EMS Top Responder Award for all the emergency calls to which he responded this year.

Boms joined the fire department in the fall of 2022 and while serving as a volunteer there was asked if he could drive the ambulance if needed for emergency calls. It seemed “like a logical fit,” the former councilman said, so he joined the First Aid Squad as well.

He was also a member of the borough’s Office of Emergency Management so he felt he could be more involved, more ready to meet any emergency and update on all business and activity by being involved in all three.

Boms attended training at the fire academy for fire and police training, and in January will begin the intensive training as a certified EMT, emergency management technician.

Both the department and the first aid squad hold drills monthly so Boms attended them while also going to the Fire Academy for their training.

When he begins EMT training next month, it will be the start of a program that includes two nights a week as well as Saturdays from January through mid-May.

For his OEM position, Broms completed all the coursework and passed all the exams in more than 30 classes. “But I will continue to take more classes when I have time,” he said, noting the importance of being knowledgeable on all aspects of emergency training.

Boms, who served three years on Council, one of them as council president, said he has taken up the challenge and intensive hours of volunteer service simply because “I l love the town we live in and enjoy giving back to it however I can.”

In addition to his volunteer service to the borough, Boms is a real estate agent with Stack & Stack Real Estate in Hoboken where he heads the distressed property division. A majority of his work focuses on his duties as an appointed agent for the Federal Bankruptcy court and State receivers.

He also is in ownership with a local construction company which does home remodeling, kitchens and baths as well as other construction. That business involvement sprang up from his years of volunteer work helping Hurricane Sandy victims with The Foundation to Save the Jersey Shore. After three years on that board, he was named board president.

Strength, A story of Poise, Love and Loss

6
Strength
The Strength of My Mother

I had just turned nine years old the year my mother showed more strength and compassion than anyone could imagine. But I never realized it until I was grown up, married, and had children of my own.

We were a family who loved tradition and our religion. Christmas was especially important to us, after four weeks of Advent, and making all the preparations for Christmas Eve when we would set up the tree, talk about every ornament we put on it, and my mother would be sure every strand of tinsel was perfectly straight.

We never sent Christmas cards out until a few days before Christmas, and for that, we all lined up around the dining room table and took part in the process. Because my parents were both well known and loved, and because my father was a famed newspaper reporter and head of the Draft Board in Union, the largest in the state, we had hundreds of cards to mail. So the four of us, my two older brothers and sister and I, lined up around the table to put the cards in envelopes, address and stamp the envelopes, pile them in neat order and laugh about how we looked in that year’s photo.

The cards were always photos were of the family in a Christmas setting. Uncle Len, Len Morgan, was a photographer for the New York Journal American newspaper, and he and my parents always set up an appointment for him to come and create that year’s photo.  In 1945, we had taken the photo around Dec. 10th and were waiting for Uncle Len to bring the finished product so we could do the procedure.

But my father came home from work Dec. 15, and said he had pains in his chest. He went up to rest while my mother called the doctor and prepared supper for all of us, reminding us to be quiet so “Daddy can rest.”

Our friend, Dr. Imbleau, came shortly after, assured us Daddy would be fine but needed a lot of rest before he would be better. We all went to bed saying special prayers for Daddy.

It was after 1 a.m., with us children all asleep, when my father died. There was not much help for heart attacks those days. My mother called each of us into her bedroom as we awoke the next morning to let us know God had taken Daddy to heaven with him. It was nine days before Christmas.

This nine-year-old grew up a lot in the next few days. There were two days of visitation, both afternoon and evening, and though my mother did not have us at the funeral parlor each day, we knew that hundreds of people passed my father’s casket to shake my mother’s hand, hug her, or simply express sympathy and tell her what a wonderful man he was.

The day of the funeral was blizzard-like, with inches of snow in the street and lines of cars processing from the Leonard Funeral home in Elizabeth to Saint Michael’s Church in Union with half a dozen or more priests were on the altar and the church filled to overflowing. The trip to Saint Gertrude’s Cemetery in Rahway was long, filled with snow and lines of cars. My mother told us to say a fond farewell to our father.

It was now five days before Christmas. The Christmas cards did not get mailed that year.

We put the reindeer up on the mantelpiece, nestled the stable in the fireplace, decorated the tree Christmas Eve and hung our stockings before saying our prayers and going to bed. My mother was telling us how much fun Christmas would be as she put the finishing touches on all the decorations.

In the morning, as usual, we all came down the stairs together to gasp and giggle over the array of presents under the tree. My mother watched silently as she sat on the landing of the living room steps watching and hearing us delight over our gifts.

For me, all l  saw was the two-wheeler. My first bike. It was blue and black, with shiny handlebars and a basket. I forgot about the sadness of losing my father. I was excited and ran and hugged my mother.

“That’s the last Christmas gift Daddy bought,” she said calmly. I did not even see the tears in her eyes.

I was nine years old and just happy to have a bike.

The years passed, I finished school, got married, moved to Highlands and Jimmy and I had a Christmas tree of our own.

It was not that First Christmas, but the next one, the first one for our first child, Kathy. That was when it hit me.

As Jimmy and I thrilled over Kathy, not quite a year old, so excited by the lights, the music, the toys, the bright colors, gurgling and chattering with joy, I suddenly asked myself: How did my mother do it?

How did my mother, only 45 years old, married 20 years, with four kids, ever put up a front for us nine days after her very loved husband died, so we could enjoy Christmas?

How did my mother, only five days after she cried out in agony as they lowered my father into the grave, pull it together so she could get all our gifts under the tree.

How did my mother make the house seem festive so her children would have a happy Christmas?

How did my mother have the strength I would never have to tuck her own grief inside her heart and pour out so much love and care for her children?

My mother lived another 50 years after my father died. She never remarried; she waited until we were all in high school, then, in those days of just start-up social security, went to school herself to get her real estate license and begin work selling houses so we could still keep our house at 1039 Bertram Terrace.

As each of us married and had our own families, she hugged and loved all of the grandchildren and great grandchildren. She told them stories about her own growing up, about happy Christmases, about some of the traits and talents they inherited from their grandfather, and she shared photographs and stories about him.

But she never told them of our own strength that first Christmas nine days after she lost him. They each learned on their own, in their own way, as I had done, just what a strong and wonderful woman she was