A wise business decision … a terrific landlord … power of the press or the people … an early Christmas Gift… whatever you call it, it is definitely, the answer to the prayers of everybody that The Girls’ Café has cancelled its plans to closed down forever on Christmas Eve.
Literally thousands of readers responded to the story in VeniVidiScripto.com yesterday about The Girls Café. The story reported that the Girls, Cathy and Vera, together with Charley the grill master and were shutting down the Café forever and taking a well-deserved rest. The story continued that it also meant not seeing all those Hartsgroves who pitch in and help or work at the Girls Café at various times and days.
A radio station picked up the story as well. Neighbors phoned each other, VeniVidiScripto received numerous comments. Apparently after all that fuss and fear, many sharp business-minded people, friends or simply scores of people who like to start their day with a great cup of coffee and a warm smile and greeting, took things into your own hands.
The landlord received plenty of messages from people. The girls themselves received plenty of drop ins and calls that they simply can’t shut down.
Today, the landlord, a wise woman, a highly successful and innovative businesswoman and a woman who loves her Highlands and all its people, stopped in for a chat with Cathy and Vera.
The result, though I’d be fairly certain all the details have not been finalized within the last hour or so, is that The Girls Café, as it does every year, will close Christmas Eve and remain closed for the month of January. That is their least busy time of the year.
But this morning’s conversation means the entire picture has changed. Landlord and tenant chatted and agreed, it’s been decided that in February, or unless the winter weather be overwhelming, March the Girls Café will open again.
It’s a co promise. Cathy and Vera won’t be there every day. They will each work three days a week, and Charlie, that great chef you only see from the back since she’s always working her magic on the grill, will remain full time.
Prayer works. People taking action for change make a difference.
By now probably just about everyone has heard the bad news, and while I hate repeating it, I want to be sure everyone knows that Vera, Cathy, and of course, Charley, those wonderful girls at The Girls Café, are packing it in.
For good.
On Christmas Eve.
Vera and Cathy said they’re getting too tired and want to take a rest and maybe do something exciting in the future. But for now, The Girls Café is closing Dec. 24.
Those dynamic sisters Cathy and Vera Hartsgrove, their tireless and energetic long time associate and friend Charlie, and lots of Hartsgrove relatives who all chip in time and talent to keep this wonderful little café the friendliest and, like the other great places in Highlands, highly popular eatery, is closing its doors, and turning down the grill.
The sisters are weary and admit they aren’t as chipper at 5 in the morning as they were when they were younger. And they want to finally take some time to enjoy some quiet time, some late morning sleep-ins, and maybe once in a while have someone else pour their coffee and fry their eggs.
Cathy and Vera are warm, and friendly. They have the ability to make people start their mornings with a laugh, a good meal and send them on their way with a wish and hope they all have a great day. The Girls Café isn’t their first time behind the counter or over the grill. But as to the Café, it’s only been since after Hurricane Sandy that they decided to create this great little sport just off Washington Avenue and overflowing with enthusiasm and happiness.
Now, more than a decade later, with awards for excellence, tons of new friends and lots of customers craving Vera’s special oatmeal or Charley’s sensational omelets or Cathy’s finishing touches and swift deliveries on everything from freshly cut fruit to those toasted bagels or English muffins, they’re taking another big step and plan on discovering lots of fun things to do in their retirement.
Between now and Christmas Eve, stop in with the Girls any day from 6 a.m. to 1 p.m. between Wednesday and Sunday, and be sure to sign the notebook they’ll have up. Write a special memory, or a favorite dish, or just hugs and kisses for fine Highlands natives who started everyone’s day with a smile and a hot cup of coffee!
Not only the boroughs of Highlands and Atlantic Highlands, but the state of New Jersey Division on Civil Rights as well, can add other superlatives to their list of firsts or best. They are all masters of irony.
Edgar Allan Poe:
A classic genius in his fiction when it comes to irony. His Cask of Amontillado is especially full of them. So many, in fact, that linguists and novelists often cite the three types of irony he used in this one work alone. Dramatic, Verbal, and Situational.
Obvious:
It was obvious to me that the two Bayshore towns and the state have outdone Poe just in the two complaints the state Civil Rights Division has brought against the two towns on my behalf.
The Request:
I asked both towns to provide me a way to be involved in government meetings. They both declined. Or simply ignored my request. I asked the state Department of Civil Rights office to fix it for me. I wanted them to find out why the boroughs felt that they did not have to grant my request for an accommodation due to my disability.
The Interactive Process
The Courts have established a regular plan of action for just such a request. It’s called the “Interactive Process” and starts with requiring the towns to have open and honest communication with the disabled person to find out specifically what they can do to correct the situation. That didn’t happen. Highlands completely ignored this step in the process … Atlantic Highlands did what they have demonstrated is an art form … delay and postpone.
Mediation:
We moved to the next step … Mediation. That’s when each side, in this case there would be two mediation’s because the complaint involved two separate entities would sit down with me and a state appointed mediator to see if we could handle things ourselves. Cheaper, more efficient, and hopefully would result in a quicker solution.
Nice, I thought, still retaining some measure of pride and hope in the state.
Irony #1
It was easier said than done. The lawyer for the towns…oh yes, one lawyer, two cases, two towns. That’s because both towns have the same insurance company. Not sure if that’s a conflict but it seems to me the lawyer could learn a lot in the first mediation to use in the second mediation. Because of course, he wants to win both. I find that a bit ironic. Even if the complaints were different.
Irony #2
When the lawyers, yes,…. because you see, in addition to the insurance company attorney, each town had its own borough attorney involved…. finally find a date they can be available…about a month after all the dates the mediator wanted…. I get another letter from the state. In order to do this mediation, I have to sign a promise I would not tell anybody anything about what happened at it.
Look at that irony. The lawyer trying to prove the towns aren’t doing anything wrong by not letting me participate in meetings can know everything about one mediation before going into the other. But I can never tell anybody what happened.
Look at the irony. I’ve got a lifelong history of being a journalist, a newspaper reporter, a writer. But now that I’m losing my sight I have to violate every principle I’ve learned and used in order to have the state conduct this mediation.
Irony #3
It’s ironic that I seem to be the only one who knows the US Constitution and its amendments. Because, you see, ordering me to keep my mouth shut, sign a non disclosure and confidentiality form, or I won’t be able to mediate, is clearly a chilling of my first amendment rights those wonderful men of the 18th century and beyond fought for…freedom of speech.
The irony is what I am complaining about is the violation of my 14th amendment rights. That’s the one that guarantees me equal protection under the law. So in order to get those rights guaranteed under the 14th amendment of the 19th century, I have to give up my right to the first amendment adopted in the 18th century.
Tentative Resolution
Trying to help get this resolved at the least cost to the taxpayer and least stress on me, I got the state to agree to waive its regulations executing a non-disclosure agreement. IF..and that’s a big IF…they could get the two towns to agree.
You guessed it.
NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
Neither town would agree. It’s ok for their attorney to talk to himself … or his staff…or use his notes in one mediation on another, but it was not ok for me to tell the rest of the world how this is being handle. Do you see any irony there?
DO you see any irony in the fact the state is actually demanding, in order to treat me equally, that I have to give up another right?
Irony #4
So that cancelled that mediation. I refused to give up my rights.
Well, that cancellation of the scheduled mediation’s prevented the towns and the state from being involved in yet another irony. You see, one of the alternatives, if they wanted a more expensive idea than the simplest possibility, would have been by virtual mediation. That means ZOOM? That irony? That is one of the ways they could have used to enable me to participate in government meetings. Got it? They could use ZOOM to pay attorneys to fight a request that ZOOM would have resolved.
Yes, there are still more ironies.
Irony #5
Both towns, Highlands and Atlantic Highlands, conducted ZOOM meetings throughout the time Governor Murphy mandated they have them during the COVID directives.
Do you see that irony? Both towns could do it for the Governor of New Jersey, but one little old lady who’s losing her eyesight asks for it and it’s not possible.
Irony #6
To be as open and informative as I can be, Atlantic Highlands did manage to spend around $12,000 or so to rig up a new and improved system. But it took them many months to do it, and even then, it wasn’t for me. It was so everybody could participate the way I needed to. A $12,000 expense that isn’t used for all Borough meetings.
More irony here. They spent the money, they have the system, it’s working pretty well these days, though by no means certain. And they still have to explain why nothing could be done for me more than a year ago.
Irony #7
To me, the biggest irony of all is the state of New Jersey has an office specifically created to help people with disabilities. Wouldn’t you think they would have at directed an IMMEDIATE , if temporary solution, easy and cheap enough which I could have explained, even if they couldn’t think of it.
Then they could have gone down the road of all the legal stuff, the discussions, the mediation and the lawyers. And if all that determined the borough did not have to provide a disabled person with that ability to participate in meetings, then they could have taken that temporary measure away.
All that would be left at that point would be a discussion on why the state does not have to help the disabled. Which would be followed by their 86 year old lady going someplace higher and more concerned in order to enable her to participate like everyone else in any governmental meeting anyplace she wanted.
Parting Messages
Two messages for the Boroughs of Highlands and Atlantic Highlands:
Our world would be a lot better if we could provide happiness as easy as we can provide pain for others.
and for my friends in Atlantic Highlands who like Charlie Chaplin so much … Irony is doing the wrong thing at the right moment
One of the stories about people I admire and wrote about in the book Hidden History of Monmouth County, was Rumson’s Toy Bull Dog, Mickey Walker.
I wrote the story not so much because that’s why the Rumson Fair Haven teams are called the Bull Dogs, but because he was one of the feature stories my father wrote back in the 1920s when he was a young newspaper reporter and had to write about a hometown boy from Elizabeth who trained in Rumson.
The story I wrote was also in the Atlantic Highlands Herald in 2018, and worth repeating in part here, not only because Walker was a great boxer and apparently my father liked him, but also because it reminds me once again why I love writing, and that the only reason I have any talent in writing is because I inherited it from my father. I’m also proud that my son and my daughter not only inherited that same talent and devotion to research but also improved on it.
Other historians and writers in local newspapers have quoted my father’s articles in their own research on Walker as well as other persons and places in history.
The Reporter
The story about my dad, Vincent De Paul Slavin and the Toy Bulldog happened in 1921 when the writer was 24 years old and writing for The Index and Elizabeth Review, billed as “the only Sunday newspaper in Union County.” His byline on many stories identified him as a special correspondent to the paper. That means he was probably writing for several different papers at the same time (another gene I inherited).
My father was raised in Philadelphia, and somehow the family found their way to Elizabeth, probably because his father got a job with the ESSO Refinery. He met my mother in 1921, but it would be another four years before the couple married and settled in Union.
The Toy Bull Dog
Mickey Walker was about 21 at the time, born in Elizabeth, lived in Newark and was scheduled to wage “the fight of his life” against Jack Britton, another Irishman who held the welterweight title.
My father thought the story was important enough and ‘local’ enough to wrangle his way into hanging around Walker for an entire day while the boxer trained in and around his home on Lafayette St. in Rumson. His sports news story, written in the flowing, adjective-filled prose of the day, captured some of the beauty of the area as well as the training techniques of Walker and his training team.
The Camp
My father hadn’t spent much time in Monmouth County…it would be another ten years and a few children later before he brought his family to enjoy the beach at Sandlass Beach Club across the river from Highlands. And he described Walker’s Rumson training camp as being “three miles” from the more famous town of Red Bank.
You could tell he loved the area though. Despite the story being about the soon to be welterweight champion, my father took news space to write: “Two blocks from the shore of the Shrewsbury River, in the rear of a bungalow well shaded with huge maple trees, there stands a little house, one story high, and containing but one room. In this room, Mickey went through a good bit of his hard work.”
The Training
Later in the article, he writes: “Every morning at seven sharp found Mickey tumbling out of the hay downstairs for his cup of tea and a few pieces of toast. At eight o’clock he started on the road, and with his many supporters, sparring partners and mascots, covered three miles through the hills of Monmouth County.”
The story goes on to talk about the run, the rubdowns after, the finishing order of the rest of the team, a nap for the champ, then launches back into the charm of Monmouth County and its people. The group, including my dad, Walker’s chauffeur and a few others, sat down for “a good old-fashioned country meal” when “the good old country mother at whose home the challenger boarded, spread on the table fried potatoes, egg salad (that couldn’t be beat) frankfurters, rolls and tea.”
The Fun
After lunch, the story continues, “all hands bounced into Bulger’s (Walker’s manager, Jack Bulger) auto and rode two blocks to the water front where Joe Higgins and Gillie had a chance to show their fancy diving wares…. Mickey sat on the rear of the pier with a fair damsel who showed him how to knit.” The reporter added, “up until two weeks ago, Walker battled with the waves daily, but for the last few days Bulger wouldn’t permit his charge to take to the inviting waves of the Shrewsbury.”
Nor could Walker enjoy the festivities at Borden’s skating rink as the rest of his crew did. While the rest all donned skates to enjoy the rink, Walker wasn’t permitted by his manager to skate, the story said, for fear he might fall and injure himself.
The Champ
Walker went on to a disputed decision in that bout but came back the next year to claim the title, and again to take the middleweight title from Tiger Flowers. And later yet, to go eight rounds as a heavyweight against Max Schmelling. But he retired in 1935, opened a pub in Elizabeth and took up art, painting and exhibiting both still life and scenery.
The Knockout
Sadly, it was in 1974 when Freehold police found him lying alongside the road and took him for a homeless alcoholic. Actually, he was suffering from Parkinson’s disease, atherosclerosis and anemia, and spent the next few years in a variety of care centers and hospitals. He died April 28, 1981 at Freehold Area Hospital.
My Dad
My dad went on to be the police reporter for the Newark Evening News, covering everything from the Hindenburg explosion at Lakewood to Dutch Schulz’ murder on the street in Newark, as well as hospital ships returning with injured GIs during World War II, murderers and priests alike. With teen age sons of his own, he volunteered and was named by President Roosevelt to be Chairman of the largest draft board in New Jersey. As such he was critical of a nation that sent fathers off to fight while leaving young teenagers able to avoid the draft by arguing they were “vital “ to the companies for which they worked. He won his battle with the President for as long as it was possible. When they were of age, his own two sons both volunteered for military service, one in the Navy one in the Marines, later Air Force.
My dad died suddenly in 1945 nine days before Christmas. But he left me, his youngest daughter, with a gift for which I’ll always be grateful
It’s funny how politicians operate. Funny how the state of New Jersey operates. In fact, it’s funny how the laws governing ADA, the Americans Disabilities Act, which was designed to protect people with any disability, and the LAD, New Jersey’s Law Against Discrimination, also designed to protect residents or even visitors to the Garden State, are enforced. It’s funny how two towns, Highlands and Atlantic Highlands, both once part of Middletown, now separated sisters who have different opinions of each other, and both still sharing borders with Middletown, can find two entirely different ways to elude, evade and escape justice.
Funny how they can convince the people … residents and voters, that they are doing the right thing, thinking always of them, blah, blah, blah all the while absolutely refusing to follow either law. Then it’s funny that the state of New Jersey even goes out of its way to help these towns continue to refuse to let every resident have a way to participate in government meetings.
Funny … until you’re the victim that is being scoffed, ignored, humiliated and continued to be abused by two governing bodies that really don’t care if this resident can participate in a meeting.
A Very Brief History
Let me take that back. Since I am this resident, and I am a journalist, one who has covered both these town since the late 1950’s, and has always written the good, the bad, and the interesting about each, maybe they just don’t want me covering any meetings at all. Everybody doesn’t have the same degree of truth and the importance of keeping the public informed as this journalist has.
Diagnosis & a Request
When a sudden and totally unexpected diagnosis of aging macular degeneration forced me to limit outdoor activities, especially driving, to daylight hours, I appealed to the two towns I most often frequent for news coverage, to give me another way of knowing what they were doing each month… a reasonable accommodation. All meetings in both towns are at night, and without driving ability, and at 86 years of age, not always keen on walking the distance in the dark to council meetings, I simply asked for help. I gave both towns some alternatives that could solve the problem, in writing. The law requires their participation in an interactive process to discuss ideas or my suggestions once it gets to their level. If they did … it was half halfheartedly at best.
Resolution?
So what could have … should have … been resolved with a sit down and use of a cell phone, has now blossomed into the towns spending lots of money on two attorneys (each!), a lot of wasted time, and still no help for this disabled writer. Not even a temporary solution until the matter is resolved.
Well, neither town was interested. Atlantic Highlands did some things, spoke long and hard about something else they were doing, spending a reported $12,000 to produce a Fancy Dancy ZOOM system so everybody, not just me because of my complaint, could sit at home and attend meeting .
Highlands did absolutely nothing. Heck, they didn’t even answer my first request. They don’t’ even have ZOOM. They got my complaint then simply turned over the state’s civil rights complaint to their attorney.
No meeting to hear more, no meeting to learn more, no meeting to try to help or explain. Just a case of the Disabled be damned.
Stalled
As a result, here we are, more than 15 months later, and still both towns are stalling rather than providing a cheap and easy solution both would have known about had they even participated in an interactive process.
Atlantic Highlands’ system was the one they use for everything of importance…simply delay, stall, and in the end do nothing. (See related story)
Highlands Response … or lack of
Highlands? What did my beloved Highlands, where I got married, raised my kids, served on the board of education, my husband served on borough council, and so much more…what did they do? NOTHING… NADA… ZIP ..They simply ignored the whole thing.
Nothing.
Not even the $12,000 ZOOM system Atlantic Highlands put in, not for me, mind you, just put it in with all its troubles, difficulties, and faults. It’s working fairly well now, but Atlantic Highlands doesn’t even think that “government business” means everything the government does, including the Harbor Commission ..but they don’t think that’s necessary at all.
Highlands, where a lot of government meetings are held in the Community Center, which in itself is questionably handicapped accessible, doesn’t even offer ZOOM meetings, open mike sessions. Nothing. Highlands acts like it doesn’t think public business is really public business.
Highlands Mayor, Carolyn Broullon
There’s a lot to be said for the Highlands Mayor, Carolyn Broullon. She’s smart, she’s pleasant, she’s hard working, and since she moved there, as opposed to being another of generation of a family that’s been there for decades or centuries, I’m sure she loves it. She also keeps things in proper perspective, when she and I disagree on issues. Which we do frequently, she doesn’t take it personally, nor does she feel I have any personal vendetta against her. We can talk, we can laugh, we can share mutual interests and we can even like each other. And we share, I believe, a mutual respect for each other’s strengths.
She’s smart, too, knows her job, knows exactly what she can do, knows how to get stuff done. And has the energy and follow through to be sure it is.
But not for everything.
The state’s complaint on my behalf is the perfect example.
Does Mayor Carolyn Broullon Know What’s Going On?
Does Mayor Carolyn Broullon even know she jeopardized the town’s finances simply by ignoring a legally mandated and required interactive process?
Does Mayor Carolyn Broullon even know the attorneys refused to allow the problem to be discussed or reported in public?
Does Mayor Carolyn Broullon even know that in spite of my getting the state of New Jersey to waive its demand for confidentiality if I could get the towns to do so, the Mayors paid attorney refused to do that?
Does Mayor Carolyn Broullon even know that when her paid attorney filed his response to my complaint, he simply cut and pasted from the paperwork he filed on behalf of Atlantic Highlands?
Does Mayor Carolyn Broullon even know she and Atlantic Highlands are both paying the same insurance company attorney, separately and independently, for doing the same thing and arguing it in two different ways?
Does Mayor Carolyn Broullon even know that since it’s one attorney and he was going to hear the Atlantic Highlands complaint first, different and separate as it is, it could well have a negative impact on her town?
Somebody’s Getting Paid
I know that not only the borough attorney but the insurance attorney are being paid to fight against my request to be treated equally under the law. And I know she has heard, but certainly not everything, from those attorneys about what’s going on.
It’s what she doesn’t know that scares me.
I think this Mayor and her council, who all have minds of their own, but because they talk and discuss lots of stuff then talk again about it at the council table, iron out stuff, save money and make changes before doing anything else.
Atlantic Highlands, before they advertise possible laws, pay other costs, and waste time or energy apparently don’t talk so much then end up stalling and delaying, the Atlantic Highlands costly and time consuming tactic for not facing issues, problems or decision or getting things done.
Ignore it and it will go away
In Highlands? They simply don’t do anything. Act like there’s nothing to address. Don’t bother answering state directives. Run the risk, it would seem to me, of incurring higher costs for the taxpayer and a shot in the eye, no pun intended, for the person the state is representing because of a disability.
Do the attorneys tell the mayor everything?. Does she know they just simply act like nothing’s happened and nothing needs to be done. Shouldn’t the mayor and council know what’s going on before signing those requests for payment?
Shouldn’t the Mayor even ask?
Mediation
The Attorneys, by state request or mandate, whichever it may be, had some conversations with the state mediation team. They were asked for dates when they could mediate. I had given lots of choices. They were too busy.
Finally they agreed on a date … a month farther out then the State of NJ DCR and I had proposed.
Not sure the Mayor or governing body was even made aware of it.
HUSH HUSH
The attorneys for both towns, wanted to keep our interaction hush hush. Don’t dare tell the public, and for God’s sake, don’t dare let ME, a seasoned journalist, tell the public, how we were going to handle this.
Did the Mayor know about this?
It doesn’t seem like she had any clue.
Was it Mentioned?
While she certainly likes to keep things from the public till she gets them done, I get the feeling that if it’s dealing with a decision that has to be made, she’ll make it, then be sure the folks know about it.
So when Highlands and its neighbor both told the state, through their attorneys of course, not through their governing bodies, they wouldn’t cooperate, I’m not so sure the Highlands attorney even mentioned it to the Mayor.
Did she Know?
When I got the state to say it would waive its own rules on keeping everything hush hush if I could get the two towns to also agree do that, it doesn’t even seem like this mayor had a clue that any transparency issues were going on or any decision on confidentiality had to be made.
Did she know?
Mediation Cancelled
Less than 48 hours before when all this grand negotiation and mediation would take place and had to be cancelled because I could not be silenced or muzzled. Was this Mayor even made aware of that?
It doesn’t seem so. But did she know?
Where We’re At
So here we are.
A little town, big taxes, another few million in costs probably coming up soon with that borough hall on the highway, and the mayor isn’t aware of what her paid attorneys are doing? Was the mayor aware of the chances they took most likely were the reason mediation was cancelled?
Does she even know that without the mediation, the whole matter of preventing me from knowing what’s going on and having my say on a meeting most likely will now go into a judge’s hands and he gets to make the decision, and Highlands will have no say in how big or small an impact it will have on the taxes, the local laws, or the future.
When someone has thoughtful, kind and generous friends like I have, and if three of those friends…I am so fortunate in having many, but for this story, I’m concentrating on three…. are creative, overly generous and know how much I love very special people, the result is a birthday celebration that can never be forgotten or appreciated enough. Suffice it to say that Kathleen Sweeney and that terrific son of hers Jay Strebb, together with another dear friend, Bobbie Westlake, certainly went overboard to celebrate my 86th the day before Thanksgiving.
Bobbie knows how much I appreciate everything about her, her very thoughtful gift as well as her decorated delicious ice cream cakes, But for this story, I want to concentrate on the unique and over the top generosity of Kathleen and Jay.
I mean, think of this: They opened that luxurious Shore Casino before noon the day before Thanksgiving, called in a chef and a waitress, called a couple of our very close and highly revered friends and let them know it was my birthday, and prepared, served, and enjoyed with me the most splendiferous (is that even a word?) lunch anyone could have shown in her honor. For a very close and intimate group of special people.
Best of all, Ozzie and Ophelia, the staff who came in to prepare and serve this wondrous meal, even got to accept our invitation and sit and enjoy it with all of us.
Of course the buffet luncheon had several kinds of meat and huge portions of my favorite entrée, salmon. It also had mashed potatoes and outstanding young asparagus, but nothing can beat Bobby Garvey’s and Ozzie’s very special and unmatched rice pudding. Indeed, because it was the Shore Casino, there were appetizers in advance, including small pieces of filet Mignon wrapped around mashed potatoes…what a finger licking treat that is!…and a roasted eggplant with brie cheese…life doesn’t get any better. In addition to that rice pudding, which to me can be as easy a breakfast meal as it is a dessert……there was Bobbie’s ice cream cake and enough candles I could blow out rather than the full 86 that might have called in the fire department if all were lit!
And to top it all off, Jay put my name and Birthday up in lights on that rolling neon sign on the Casino exterior wall, so others passing who saw it also stopped in to express happy greetings. How lucky can one woman get? And how many wonderful friends can one person have?
But it was the stories and laughter this very special group of friends shared, some taking time from work simply to stop in for a few minutes, cherished hugs and wishing me well for the next 86 years. There was Irish humor mixed with Italian recipes, there were jokes for the quick-minded and those t hat brought up laughter from the pits of stomach. And there were memories from last week, last month, last year, last decade and then some that made the entire afternoon so very special.
Am I fortunate? Nobody has as much as I. Am I grateful? There are not enough words to express it. Are the Strebbs too generous and too thoughtful to people who love and admire them and are fortunate enough to call them friends?
They show it every day! I’m blessed, I’m grateful, I’m humbled by such generosity and kindness
I should have known trusting the Atlantic Highlands Borough Council or its paid attorney would never resolve a simple request from and 86 year old lady with a vision problem to get some help so she could attend government meetings. I should have known they would never agree to a reasonable accommodation … even though the Federal Government, The State of New Jersey, and the Supreme Court of the United States say they have to. (The Americans with Disabilities Act, Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, and the New Jersey Law Against Discrimination)
DELAY AND POSTPONE
Delay and Postpone … The Atlantic Highlands Borough Council is good at it.
Look at regionalization;
Look at cannabis;
Look at St. Agnes School;
I should have realized that asking for a reasonable accommodation for my disability … something that could have been easily resolved with a ten minute conversation … and a cell phone at a government meeting was too much to expect from a governing body which had already proven themselves time and again during the year of delaying and postponing.
This group of elected residents has delayed, postponed, and finally spent a bundle of money but offered no resolution on major issues in town throughout the year … and continues to delay and postpone on other issues.
Why ever would I think they would listen to a lone 86 year old resident who cannot see clearly and doesn’t have any prospect of ever having that corrected and has every appearance it can only get worse?
After all, this is the same council that spent money to look thoroughly at the question of regionalization and got their very valid report, certainly enough information to let the residents vote on the question. But instead, they kind of ignored the expert advice they were given and instead enabled the regional high school board and the two elementary school boards to do yet another report, one, ironically, that flowed with the one the towns together had authorized.
FIDDLING OVER REGIONALIZATION
Then they fiddled some more over that, listened to the paid employee of the three districts explain the school boards needed to have more to say, though none of the boards had said anything at all, and still have not, before letting the voting residents who pay the bills have their say on what they want.
When it got close to a fait accompli, did that happen?
Nope.
They wanted to blame the other town, Highlands, for slowing up the process.
To move it along a little, everybody agreed to mediation. And it was the Atlantic Highlands council’s counsel who was the person selecting the mediator. Even though he couldn’t make a meeting or two because he was busy elsewhere. So here we are, at the end of the year, the residents never got the chance to put the question on the ballot last month, and the mediator has not even been announced, let along started his mediation.
Stall and delay, delay and postpone …
Why did I expect anything different?
THE CANNABIS STALL
Look at the cannabis question.
Same thing.
Spend money, draw up the ordinance, pull it away before the public has had its say, and postpone and delay it until next year.
Why did I expect anything different?
SAINT AGNES SCHOOL PROPERTY
Look at the St. Agnes School property. That’s been three years of pospone and delay and an abominable attempt last month to change the use of the land while right smack in the middle of negotiating the contract for purchase … without informing the seller.
That was not only a postpone and delay, that was downright sneaky. Even the proposed ordinance hid the well known name of the property, identifying it by lot and block rather than as St. Agnes school which would have caught every taxpayer’s eye.
Not only that, but they never clued in the church’s attorney they were doing all of that, and that poor soul only found out about it when the taxpayers heard it for the first time in response to questions from alert taxpayers. You could even hear the gasp of shock about residents at the meeting when they heard it for the first time.
So why did I expect anything different?
THE LIST GOES ON
Look at the parking ordinance, or;
Look at the new million dollar plus Kappa Construction company building at the harbor that did not meet CO requirements but was still leased to tenants almost two years ago. Not sure if all the corrections have even been completed yet. Or the lawyers have agreed on anything.
So why did I expect anything different?
A SIMPLE REQUEST
Why did I expect anything different … because I had faith. When I realized a year and a half ago my eyesight disease was so severe I could not drive at night, I simply asked for a reasonable accommodation that would still enable me to attend government meetings.
My eyes were ill and deteriorating, but my desire to know what’s going on in my hometown and inform others of it were as visible as ever. So I asked for an accommodation under the state laws on handling problems disabled people have.
I was told I couldn’t have anything.
So I tried again.
That’s when a simple phone call and an invitation to stop down borough hall one day and talk about possible solutions would have worked and resolved everything. The Court refers to it as the “Interactive Process”.
But that didn’t happen.
I had no alternative but to file a complaint with the state division on Civil Rights.
I did that 18 months ago.
No surprise
It has taken until November to get to the mediation stage. I had given dozens of dates I could make myself available all day long; the attorney couldn’t make any of these, or any the mediator expected would work.
Instead the attorney said he couldn’t make it until next week. Not only that, but my request, which could have been settled with communication and a cell phone, is now in the hands of not only the borough attorney but the borough’s insurance company’s attorney as well.
Oh, and by the way, both Highlands and Atlantic Highlands have the same insurance attorney. Even though the complaints against the two towns are for different reasons. There’s a lot of irony in that as well, but that will be in the Highlands story.
New Jersey issues a mandate
So back to Atlantic Highlands’ postpone and delay tactics. New Jersey, one of the 50 states that makes up our United States governed under the Constitution, has made it mandatory for me to sign never to talk about the mediation, the agreement that prompted the first chapter of this story. So I asked if they would accept an amendment to their policy of non-disclosure. They agreed, but only if both parties, that’s me and Atlantic Highlands would agree to it and promise to keep the state out of it. I, of course did agree, since I believe the people have the right to know everything their elected officials are doing and how they’re spending their money and wasting time. Atlantic Highlands, of course, would not agree. Did you pick up on the irony? Atlantic Highlands wants to chill my First Amendment Right when discussing violations of my Fourteenth Amendment
Letter to NJ Civil Rights Division
So this week, the Civil Rights Division got another letter on my behalf spelling out how unfair the entire scenario has been and how Atlantic Highlands stall tactics are resulting in more money spent, more time wasted, and still……people with visual disabilities are not being accommodated at government meetings. More than a year and a half after being notified.
Those stall tactics? Well, just to cite the recent ones:
The Attorneys moved this mediation out a full month past the mediator’s suggested time frames.
The Attorneys delayed for a month responding to the state’s inquiry as to which representatives would be attending mediation;
The Attorneys changed the time of the mediation;
The Attorneys ignored the States request for a representative with “full settlement authority”; which means, without that, we could spend a day talking, could agree on something to resolve the issue, but then the attorney would have to go back to the Borough Council to see if it would agree to what we had all agreed on during that day long mediation.
The Attorneys required a Non Disclosure Agreement the one that said I couldn’t even talk about what was going on.
THE STATE ACQUIESCED TO EACH AND EVERY OF THESE CONCESSIONS,
So that’s Atlantic Highlands’ partial history on postponement and delay hoping it all goes away.
THEN THERE’S HIGHLANDS.
They don’t stall, they don’t delay, they simply do some things without even telling the folks. Or they simply don’t do anything at all and believe no resolution is needed because they want to act like they have done nothing wrong…
But that’s the next chapter.
A TALE OF TWO CITIES
You might call this a Tale of Two Cities. Or how an elderly person who cannot see like everybody else can be denied rights and courtesies in two different ways by two different governing bodies of two different towns. And how the state can simply look the other way and say both of their means to avoid action are okay.
Two towns. Two different systems. One result. And the feeling it leaves?
If you’re in the mood for some light reading and a dog that will snuggle right into your heart, pick up “The Art of Racing in the Rain” and see for yourself the talent of Garth Stein when writing a novel. You won’t be able to put it down until you’ve read every one of the 319 pages.
And if you are into any kind of auto racing, you’ll enjoy it even more.
The story is narrated by Enzo himself, the very mature and philosophical dog owned by Denny Swift, an up-and-coming race car driver.
Through Enzo’s words, his opinions, and his insight into human nature, you get to learn about Denny’s life and problems, as well as his racing career and the people he meets through the track. You’ll meet Eve, Denny’s wife, as well as their daughter, Zoe, and will most likely take an instant dislike to his in-laws, Eve’s parents.
But you’ll laugh at Enzo’s antics, cry over Eve’s illness and feel like talking back to the grandparents who don’t necessarily have their daughter’s or granddaughter’s best interests at heart.
Stein’s style of writing is well worth the read, even if you are not enamored of dogs and auto racing or family life. He makes Enzo come alive, he goes into entertaining and expressive detail about everything from the park where he walks Enzo to the crudely sliced and brown spotted bananas Zoe eats.
In the end, you might be wiping away a few tears, but you’ll have this warm feeling in the back of your mind that you have read of love, danger despair, humility, kindness and love. And you’ll laugh over the fact it’s all presented by a very wise, very old soul of a canine narrator.
About the Author
Garth Stein is the author of four novels: the New York Times bestselling gothic/historical/coming-of-age/ghost story, “A Sudden Light”; the internationally bestselling “The Art of Racing in the Rain”; the PNBA Book Award winner, “How Evan Broke His Head and Other Secrets”; and the magically realistic “Raven Stole the Moon.” He is also the author of the stage play “Brother Jones.” He has a dog, he’s raced a few cars, climbed a bunch of really tall trees, made a few documentary films, and he lives in Seattle with his family. He’s co-founder of Seattle7Writers.org, a non-profit collective of 74 Northwest authors working together to energize the reading and writing public.
A visit from Santa Claus, a family movie night, and the ever popular story times for all ages are all on tap for the Atlantic Highlands Branch of the Monmouth County Library in December.
Because of their popularity and the large groups they draw, there are two story times on Wednesday, Dec. 7 and 21 at 10 a.m. one on both days for babies under two years of age and another the same days at 10:15 for youngsters between two and three years of age, along with parents, caregivers and any other youngsters who want to attend.
Thursdays, there are two more programs, an after school story-time for kindergarten and up, on Dec. 1, 8, 15 and 22 at 3:15 and a preschool program for ages 3 to 5 the same days from 4 to 4:30 p.m.
“We never turn down anyone who wants to join in our story-times,” said Children’s librarian Lauren Garcia.
Because of the holidays, there will be no story times on Dec. 28 and 29.
The highlight for all story times and children’s events will be Wednesday, Dec. 14, at 10:15 a.m. but on Dec. 14, come earlier because Santa will be there at 10 a.m. or the regular story-time, and Thursday, Dec. 15 when Santa Claus, who many know as Gordon Saunders, comes to the library to read in person to the children and wish them the magic of the season. His appearance on Wednesday will be at 10 a.m. and twice on Thursday, Dec. 15, when Santa will read at 3:15, and again at 6:30 p.m. The librarian would not disclose which books Santa will be reading, saying the jolly gent likes to keep it as a surprise for his guests.
On Thursday Dec. 22, at 6:30 p.m., the library will present a family movie night. Hosted by the Bayshore Community Success Center, the film “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” will be on the screen at the library. The Center, located at the Henry Hudson Trail Activity Center in Leonardo, is a community-based family-centered neighborhood group that focuses on family support, information and services, enriching the lives of children and their parents while making neighborhood stronger.
In addition to all the story hours, and preschool programs, as well as the visit from Santa and the family Movie night, the library also will feature a Take ‘n Make Craft when youngsters can pick up a craft kit to make at home. Dino-Mite! Will be featured as the craft from Dec. 1 through Dec. 14, and Penguin Pal will be the Dec. 15 to 31 craft.
For further information on these and all the programs at the Atlantic Highlands branch, call 732-291-1956.
The governing bodies of Highlands and Atlantic Highlands can continue their apparent disdain for residents; they can continue ignoring any problematic situation that could easily and cheaply be resolved simply by communicating and caring about their towns or its people. The NJ Division on Civil Rights can continue to act like it’s really trying to help people with disabilities. But the truth of the matter is, as horrific and painful as it is for me to say, I am slowly goingblind and nobody in these entities, or at least them and one more that I’ve tried, even want to hear about it, let do anything to help. Even being a senior citizen doesn’t help. The truth is, they simply don’t want me or others to know what’s going on with their tax dollars.
They can continue to delay, put off, and end up doing nothing about things that are in their control or on which they should take action, whether it be for a resident or simply to save money. Or any other reason.
They can continue to conduct all their activities, or so many of them, in secret, like the public doesn’t even have a right to know.
Then they continue to have their paid attorneys or their paid employees or whoever they have making decisions for them, simply demand, not publicly of course, that a resident, a journalist, an honest professional who has been a part of the community since 1955, violate her own ethical standards and professional promises of a lifetime before they will even try to resolve an issue the 86-year old woman with a disability has with attending any government meetings.
But in the end, on top of all of this insulting attitude and action, the state is no better. At least as far as the NJ Division on Civil Rights is concerned. They not only approve of standards any professional journalist finds unethical, but actually demand a directive that violates a core tenant all a true journalists hold essential …the right to let the people know…. In short, sacrifice my Freedom of Speech in order to try to mediate a disability discrimination complaint I have filed.
SEVERAL COLUMNS
This will take several columns to report, but suffice it to say it will give information to the public that at least in the Bayshore, so long as Muriel J. Smith can put pen to paper or fingers to a keyboard, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that will force her to lower her standards, violate her journalistic oath, or take any action that would shame her family’s name, reputation, or history.
LEARNING ABOUT THAT NEEDLE IN THE EYE
It started back in 2021, more than a year and a half ago, when I, this 86-year old journalist and local resident who has lived most of her life in either Highlands or Atlantic Highlands, was suddenly stricken with aging macular degeneration, a disease difficult for anyone to accept, but especially someone who is required to be at night meetings to report on events and happenings the public might not ever get to know otherwise. Ophthalmologists advised her there were no options to cure the disease that had advanced so rapidly, without any notice. AMD, as it is more commonly known, at the sudden stage hers had achieved, could not be cured. It could only be halted. But in this case, even that was doubtful. A possible solution would be a $5,000 needle in the eye every month, or possibly every two months, sometime in the future.
For a woman, a self-supporting widow of 16 years, brought up with strong Christian ideals and a history of writing award winning stories in every field from society and athletics to hard news and murders … it was and awful choice.
Take that needle in the eye and continue to report the news. Did I really want to go through that? Did I want to see whether I had the money for it, or if hospitalization would cover that $5,000 per shot cost of the medicine along with the other costs for the eye surgeon who administers it, the tests that had to be done before each shot, or the ancillary other costs it would mean every month or so? Could I face this, or simply sit back and “look“, no pun intended, to a future when I would be totally blind?
I knew, because of their love and the fact they, too were raised with these high standards, I would always have my children, even my grandchildren, to look out for me for however many years I have left. So maybe avoiding a shot in the eye all those times wouldn’t be worth the possibility it might not get any worse.
A FAMILY NAME TO UPHOLD
But then I thought of my background. I thought of my father, Vincent de Paul Slavin, the Newark Evening News Police reporter, who reported for all of New Jersey on everything as diverse as Dutch Shultz being killed in front of that tavern in Newark, to the Hindenburg explosion off Lakehurst Naval Air Station in 1937. I thought of my father at the same time he was a newspaper reporter also volunteered and was named by President Roosevelt to head the largest draft board in New Jersey during World War II. I thought of how he wrote to the President shortly after his appointment to let him know he disagreed with his draft program. He wanted the President to know he would not be sending any married men with children to war until after every eligible single man was drafted first.
His strength got the law changed and kept families together.
I thought of how he was vilified and as a kid I heard the threats he faced from angry parents for drafting teenagers. I thought about the three of my four children who all enlisted to serve our country, knowing of their grandfather’s heroism in standing up for what he knew was right as well as learning from their parents the importance of patriotism, honesty integrity and helping others. How could I dare tell my kids to be strong and face any adversity with hope and prayer and then me not do it myself?
I thought of Matthew J. Gill, the publisher of The Courier, that beloved weekly newspaper he published in Middletown and for which I covered news and everything else for 22 years. He sent me out to cover every untoward report of any official doing anything wrong, and supported … no … encouraged, my covering the story no matter which official would be ousted when the truth came out.
I thought of how Matt put the future of his newspaper on the line but nonetheless financed the editor and this reporter to get a decision on a story that urged “Kick out the Mafia” when there appeared to be a problem with bids for a garbage collection contract. Or the time I went all the way to the United States Supreme Court for a decision on who could vote in municipal elections in Highlands or any place else in the state. The Supreme Court said it was a state decision, and the following year, the state law was changed as the suit said it should be.
I thought of the years I worked for Malcolm Forbes as a reporter and editor for his Somerset County newspapers and how he was so proud of the integrity of his staff that we were bused to his funeral and remembered in his will.
THE FINAL DECISION …BUT STILL NO HELP
With these memories embedded in my heart, could I take the easy way out and simply sit back, grow old gracefully and depend on my kids to take care of my remaining years?
Of course not. I agreed to the shots in my eye. Now, a year and a half later, I still get the shots in my eye … and I still try to do my job as a reporter.
NOT THE SAME ETHICS
But in spite of all this, the boroughs of Highlands and Atlantic Highlands … whoever their powers may be, and the New Jersey State Department of Civil Rights don’t have those same memories or subscribe to those standards of ethics.
Getting the shots in my eye is a piece of cake compared to how all three have treated me in the year and a half since this disaster began. So much for a “government of the people, by the people, for the people”.
Because now all three…the state of New Jersey, the borough of Highlands and the borough of Atlantic Highlands, want to not only prohibit me from having a cheap, easy way of finding out like everybody else what goes on at government meetings, I just learned that if I try to fight it, they all have another trick up their sleeve to muzzle the First Amendment rights of an 86 year old journalist.
They want to shut me up me if I attempt to get it fixed.
NEXT: Atlantic Highlands history of delay and do nothing
