“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude”

That is a quote from award winning author Cynthia Ozick. But it is a fact that hit home with stunning and immediate realization for me personally this week.

There is no doubt  I have deep gratitude for the happiness in my life, the family who every day continues to make it even happier, and the world I live in surrounded by natural beauty, great friends, a happy life and so much more. I do say thanks and am grateful for that every day.

But this week I learned that it perhaps is more that coincidence that my birthday falls so close, or actually on, Thanksgiving every year. It is because I am so grateful for so many things. Sometimes I feel the day was made simply to remind me of all I have.

But this year a couple of new things were added.

The amount of birthday greetings, happy messages, and best wishes that literally hundreds  of my friends shared in e-mails, in person, by phone, on  Facebook, in private texts and just about every other public media was not only stunning and a bit overwhelming …  but also shocking.

So many times I get hateful, abusive messages on Facebook from those who don’t like my style of writing, my opinions, or my truths. I get hate mail from people who have plenty of negativity to spout but not enough courage to put their signatures to it. There are insults and cuss words, an occasional threat, caustic and vitriolic criticisms, all opinions from people who, as hateful as I seem to be to  them, they continue to read. None of it deters me from believing everyone has the right to not only have an opinion, but to express it as well.

But on this birthday, things were different.

I received greetings from people I have not seen or talked to in years. There were many more from friends I knew as kids who still call me Mrs. Smith. There were greetings from elected officials,  both from mayors and other officials  no longer in office as well as county and state officials still serving … as if they have the time to send a greeting to someone who has even criticized them in print or on my blog in the past,  though I always respect them.

There was the greeting from the son I barely knew, but his late mom was not only a joy to know but an inspiration with her strength, bravery and vitality. There was that wonderful remembrance from a man to whom I wrote 20 years ago when he was a prisoner….but is now an upstanding citizen, a guy who went wrong as a kid but paid his debt and had the fortitude to rise above it.

There were wonderful messages from folks I worked with and  also from more some pretty terrific sailors who were stationed at NWS Earle when I volunteered and worked there two decades ago; there was the loving note from a high school friend who I knew and loved before I even knew about  Atlantic Highlands where she was from.  There were so many greetings from people I met and loved while living in Freehold, not only those at the Hall of Records or city hall, but also in the library, as neighbors, folks I met in church or at the American Hotel.

There were many messages from people I know at church and from other churches, heartwarming wishes for a holy celebration, and prayers for a continued good, happy and health life.

There were the wonderful notes from the couple who made such a difference when they lived in the Bayshore, he as the superintendent at Gateway at Sandy Hook, she as a teacher in one of the Bayshore’s friendliest and most innovative schools. Hers were those awesome words, so unmerited, that described me as  “a seeker, a learner, a wanderer — a beautiful Sagittarius soul.”

There were the reporters, the writers, the friends I made through years of being at The Courier or writing for the Record, the Register, the Press.

Of course there were also the heartfelt messages from relatives that distance prevents me from seeing often, but who do keep in touch through my blog or Facebook…one of its few attributes.  There were messages from folks I know pretty much through New Jersey, as well as Wisconsin, North Carolina, Arkansas, Pennsylvania, New York, Florida, California, Utah and Montana; there were relatives of my children who also thought enough to send me happy birthday greetings.

I took advantage of a few days celebrating on my own in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania  an Amtrak trip away to several more stories.  But even there, I was once again surprised with a very special greeting.

Walking near the hotel in the center of town, I met an elderly couple walking in the opposite direction; she stopped to say hello and tell me how she enjoyed walking. We got to spend a bit of time chatting about the weather, health, and age, and I mentioned that that day was my birthday.

Right smack in the middle of Market Street in the heart of the state’s Capital, this lady began singing “Happy Birthday to You.” And, noticing she was winging it alone, she nudged her husband’s arm and said, “sing with me.”

And for two glorious moments, I was serenaded by a thoughtful and very happy couple in the middle of the main street in the city,  a couple who just wanted to make someone else feel as happy as they were. It worked!

The greetings, the song, the memories, the friendships, the family, the thoughtfulness of so many,  gave me one more gift. I am more aware now, and with the help of God, I will never  “ take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude”

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He may have excelled in wrestling, cross country and educational leadership in high school and college, ,and he may have received Distinguished Award for achievements in science, innovation and higher education. And now he is principal for nearly ten years at the John Kennedy School in South Plainfield.

But make no mistake about it. Dr. Kevin Hajduk is most at home when he is surrounded by the first to fourth graders in the school who obviously love this leader who blends kind reminders of courtesy and understanding with gentle admonitions that discipline is still vitally important.

A graduate of South Plainfield High School, Dr. Hajduk earned his doctorate with distinction in Educational Leadership from Seton Hall, where he also earned his ED.S. He also holds a masters in Educational Technology from New Jersey City University and a BS in special education from East Stroudsburg University. Before coming to the Kennedy school he was also a special education teacher at Roosevelt Elementary and South Plainfield High and Assistant principal and principal at the Middle School where he was also a special education teacher. He also coached teams in wrestling, cross country and spring track.

But his love for his work, his students, and their excellence is evident at every event or every encounter a youngster in this first through fourth grade school has with their principal.

As is evidenced at the school’s recent celebration of Veterans Day, Dr. Hajduk is also a staunch patriot and a resolute and stanch reminder to his students of how important it is to respect and honor not only their nation but the veterans who have helped make it the country it is today.

Each year on Veterans Day, students are invited to bring veterans to a special assembly in which both the student and his veteran are honored. The entire school celebrates Veterans Day throughout the day with the assembly program starting it off. As veterans come into the gym, the students all stand an applaud them as they make their way to special seating in the front of the room. Dr. Hajduk welcomes them all, and the students, led by Student Council secretary Alexis Tsivikis say the Pledge of Allegiance, followed by special greetings to the veterans by student council co-presidents Radley Vega and Alexis Chin. Student Council vice president Stella Booth then explains the meaning of Veterans Day and student officers Callista Cohen, Bradley Kalthoff and George Yates place a wreath at the podium to honor each of the guests.

Violet Parada gives a student address to thee veterans before each stands and acknowledges his or her branch of military service.

Throughout the ceremony and the year, Dr. Hajduk reminds students of the importance of veterans and urges them to always approach a veteran, with the permission of their parents, to thank them for their service. He spoke to the students about the commitment of veterans, urging them to follow their example in their commitment to family, school, and friends.

“I am proud to serve as the Principal of John F. Kennedy School,?” the principal said. “With over 25 years of experience in the South Plainfield School District, I remain deeply committed to the success and well-being of every student in our school community.”

He expresses his belief in what children can achieve “when provided with the right opportunities, support, and high expectations. This year, my focus is on broadening the experience of every student and ensuring that each child is not only challenged academically, but also supported socially and emotionally to reach their fullest potential.” The principal noted he will continue to foster a school culture rooted in respect, inclusivity, and a love of learning, where every child feels seen, valued, and empowered.”

Dr. Hajduk also praised his staff and the students themselves who “work together to create a safe, nurturing environment where learning is meaningful, engaging, and prepares every student to become compassionate, confident, and capable citizens of the 21st century.”

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Those veterans and their families who were welcomed, treated and honored at Henry Hudson Regional School District’s 10^th annual celebration of veterans November 14 can thank MaryAnn Fiel for caring enough a decade ago to have this happen.

The regional school program included an introduction and welcome by both school Superintendent Dr. Tara Beams and Henry Hudson principal Kevin McCarthy, along with an honor guard from MAST, the Marine Academy of Science and Technology and patriotic music by the 70-plus Henry Hudson school band. It also included a full breakfast, gifts, specially designed tee shirts for each veteran and letters of thanks from students. A host of local businesses, the Henry Hudson Education Association and Key Club all participated to make it happen with special thanks to Mrs. Fiel for her invaluable help and appreciation for all she did to make this all happen.

For Mary Ann, the idea started when she was a 7^th grade student herself at Henry Hudson, the daughter of John Coberg, a longtime employee of Highlands.

Mrs. Clarke was Mary Ann’s history teacher more than 30 years ago, and it was she who assembled a veterans recognition event in the gymnasium. “It wasn’t fancy it was just a certificate, no breakfast no band just a morning of honoring our local veterans,” Mary Ann recalls, adding “I remember every year how excited my dad was to attend this. For him it meant everything for his community to acknowledge his sacrifice and service.”

The senior Coberg had served in Vietnam and worked for the borough for 25 years. Mary Ann said he taught her and her sister the importance of the flag, the nation and the military. Mary Ann said after she married and had children of her own, it was important to her to be involved. So she served on the Board of Education for a few years as well as the PTO at both Highlands and Henry Hudson. 

It was when her daughter Chloe was in pre-K at the highlands elementary school that Mary Ann approached the principal to see if she could host a veterans breakfast.

“The first year it was simply all donated baked goods and juices that the parents graciously offered,” she said, “We didn’t have any T-shirts, and it was held at the Highlands elementary school gymnasium. We had about four veterans that first year.”

But the event grew and was moved to Henry Hudson where there was more parking and easier accessibility for senior citizens. Today, she said happily, “the event is fully sponsored by local businesses who donate all of the dishes that feed our veterans and their families. 

This along with a grant that the Henry Hudson education association writes covers the entire event.”

Mary Ann was particularly honored by all those at the breakfast this year, not only for her decade of working on the annual event, but also because she did it this year while her own husband has been going through a series of hospital stays, emergency life saving and support issues, and is about to be evaluated for eligibility to be placed on a liver transplant list.

In typical Mary Ann fashion, she is also being tested to see if she is eligible as a living donor. Her husband is currently at Monmouth Medical Center where he has been since July and has been on a ventilator since August. He is suffering from a rare auto immune disease which has attacked his muscles and nerves and left him paralyzed from the neck down as well as deteriorating his liver to the extent he needs the transplant.

Still undeterred, Mary Ann acknowledges that with her husband’s illness and raising three Children, “my plate has been full.”

Still, the optimist continued, “every year, I’m blessed that I get to see this beautiful breakfast grow; that I get to sit with my own children, so they too grow up to appreciate all the sacrifices that these men and women make. This breakfast truly is a collaborative effort, and I hope our veterans see just how much their community appreciates them.”

She added, “ Even with all I have going on, I knew I needed to continue this tradition because it means so much to so many in our beautiful community. And it meant so much to my dad. With the help of so many people this year we pulled it off – and that made me smile…. which is no easy task these days.” 

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